Breaking Down

Today ( Wed. Oct.5 2016) I went to church for the first time in quite a while. When I got there everyone was warm and welcoming. It was like coming home from college or returning for a long exhausting journey. I was greeted by my youth leaders and we jumped right into things.  Honestly I don’t remember all that was said which is quite sad. But the button line is everyone had to pick something to give up. The minute we started talking about what we might give up I began to get angry. The second the challenge was presented, a voice, that sounded nothing like me said YouTube. When I heard it in my head I was all ‘ Aww naw’ ‘ No way ‘. YouTube is EVERYTHING to me.It’s where I go to learn how to do something, where I go for entertainment, and it’s a site that I’m working on making my money from too! So you could only imagine how I felt when I thought that thought. So the class goes on, and I ignore that little voice that said ‘give up YouTube’. I sat there refusing to write down what it was that I was going to give up.When the time for class to be over came, my leaders notice that I haven’t written anything down. They didn’t really press it, and we went into the sanctuary to pray out and leave. We circled up and prayed and the pastor dismissed us. Everyone left,but I stuck around because I needed one of my youth leaders to take me home. So I stood around and after a minute said to myself ‘ I’m gonna greet my pastor.’ Now here the thing about my pastor,he’s hugs ARE THEE BEST. If you could get a degree in hug giving, his man would have his PHD. His hugs are warm, and make all your broke pieces fit together like a puzzle. Good stuff. So anyways, he hugs me an like a small child I burst into tears. I confess some pretty heavy things to him and we talk about it. And at the end I get another hug. But in that conversation I deiced I’m gonna not only give up living in the imaginary world I’ve created in my head, but also writing/reading fan fictions and YouTube. This is gonna be hard, because I’m my mother is going out of town, and I’ll have no one to talk to. But I’ll be okay.

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